For literally everyone

This gift guide is meant to cover just about everyone on your list – friends, loved ones, coworkers, employees, your boss, subcontractors, that one guy in the office whose name you drew for Secret Santa that you’ve never actually talked to, and now it would be weird to suddenly strike up conversation and he would probably figure it out immediately – everyone.

But the truth is, we’re all going to share this list because it’s stuff we actually want (why do you think we wrote this article in the first place?). So go on over to Facebook, copy and paste this link, and drop that hint.

Gift for the person that’s impossible to shop for

It’s called MAN crates, but most of the gals on our team drooled over the possibility of getting a Man Crate as a gift. They’re actual wooden crates filled with goodies that the recipient has to pry open with a frickin’ crowbar. Six degrees of bacon? Yes f**king please. Whiskey? Beard stuff? Food stuff? This might be the best option on the list, and the best way to make friends or impress a boss.
Product Name: Man Crates
Price: $39.99 – $179.99

Gift for the indecisive

Decisions are hard, and sometimes you just need fate to help you deal with a difficult client, or an investment. Just spin this silver decision wheel, and feel the burden of your decision be handled by a paperweight. Great for moments of indecision (or laziness, whatever).

Product Name: Decision Paperweight
Price: $18.00

Gift for the insomniac

Got a friend who can’t seem to get to sleep at a normal hour? This biofeedback sleeping cap emits a faint audio signal that lulls you to sleep (and creates a reaction the founder calls “the virtual hammock effect” because it mimics the sound of swaying back and forth). It also monitors your brain activity to help keep you asleep. Plus it’s kind of cute.
Product Name: Sleep Shepherd
Price: $150.00

Gift for the germophobe

Most cell phones have 18 times more germs than a public toilet, so this gift isn’t just for the neat freaks in our midst, but for anyone who doesn’t want to put a disgusting device on their face and near their mouth every day. We’re grossed out just thinking about it…
Product Name: Smartphone Sanitizer
Price: $19.95 – 59.95

Gift for the cat person

Look, if someone’s working from home and they have a cat, they’re really just working with their cat. And we all know that cats are bossy little turds that want to sit on your papers, or lay on your keyboard, so why not give them their very own laptop they can scratch up to hell?
Product Name: Cat Scratch Laptop
Price: $30.09

Gift for the whole team

Ever wish you could throw a pillow with your coworker’s face on it at your coworker? Then this unsettling customizable pillow set is for you and your weird team. This could be the most disturbing pillow fight in history, are you ready?
Product Name: Mushion
Price: $22.69 (single) – $45.39 (trio)

Gift for the allergic friend

We all love dogs and cats and trees and air, but no one loves allergies. If your friend or coworker is in a room of hardwoods, hook ’em up with this robot mop that dusts the floors all day and keeps the dust contained. It’s a fraction of the cost of a fancy iRobot, but does the trick!
Product Name: Mopet Robot Mop
Price: $37.59

Gift for the adult who is a kid at heart

Adults color now. It’s a thing. This adult coloring book is a gorgeous collection of underwater scenes, sunken treasure, coral and mermaids. No artistic talent required!
Product Name: Lost Ocean: Underwater Adventure Coloring
Price: $13.00

Gift for the person without a smart tv

Is there a huge tv in your boss’ or buddy’s office, mounted proudly, but it’s not a smart tv? Go peek and see if it has a USB port, because if it does, you can gift them a Roku streaming stick to make it smart and stream Netflix, YouTube, and more in brilliant 1080p. Why are you still reading? Go check, now!
Product Name: USB Roku
Price: $49.00

Gift for high-stress people who probably yell a lot

This little sensor goes in your ear, reads your heart rate and automatically gives you a breathing sequence to follow. As the website states, “Used just a few minutes a day, this cutting edge phone app helps you transform feelings of anger, anxiety or frustration into peace, ease, clarity, and success.” We’re feeling more zen already.
Product Name: HeartMath Inner Balance Sensor for iOS
Price: $99.00

Gift for people who need a calendar (everyone)

If you don’t look at this bubble calendar and itch to go pop all of the days, then you’re a monster and we don’t want to know you. Be a hero anyway, and grab one of these for someone on your list, and they’ll think of you every time they get to gloriously pop a new bubble! Or get them the Business Cats Wall Calendar, which is pretty damn awesome, too.
Product Name: Bubble Calendar
Price: $26.00

Gift for people that know when that hotline bling

Easily the most ridiculous viral meme this year was Drake’s Hotline Bling song. To commemorate it (or to punish a friend with a crappy gift), jump on this glorious holiday sweater. It will be the talk of the town!
Product Name: 1-800 Hotline Bling Ugly Sweater (Unisex)
Price: $22.99

Gift for the wanna-be artist

Drawing is hard. But writing words is easy! Gift your poor, unartistic friend a calligraphy course. Typography is all the rage these days, and it will give them a creative outlet that doesn’t require them to attempt to draw a living object (and ruin your memory of it forever).
Product Name: Modern Calligraphy Class (Online)
Price:$95.00

… or, if you don’t think they even have that ability, you can always just get them some pretty pens. These from Anthropologie have feathers on them! Ooooh, pretty. Buy an assortment!
Product Name: Plumed Writing Pen
Price:$12.00

Gift for the office scapegoat

Let them know they dun messed up with the F Bomb Paperweight. Here at The American Genius we relish in the glory of noticing a coworker’s mistake and then pass that thing off like a hot potato. It’s a great incentive to get your dunce to produce practically perfect work.
Product Name: F Bomb Paperweight
Price:$45.00

Gift for the underachiever

It’s hard to adult. We all know it. And some people are worse at it than others. For those people, or for the smartass cynic in your office, hook them up with Adult Award Ribbons and let them be proud of putting pants on today (good job, buddy!). Or, get the team a few orders of Everyday Achievement Certificates as a goof, or as to celebrate the underachiever in all of us!
Product Name: Adult Award Ribbons and Everyday Achievement Certificates
Price: $6.00 – 8.00

Gift for the dreamy to-do lister

Store-bought planners and calendars are boring. Nothing compares to the beautiful variety that you can find on Etsy. Most are handmade, all by different artists, and there are a million different kinds and themes that are sure to please and wow the creative person in your life. Browse through the category, add a keyword (like “garden” or “moon”) if you have something specific in mind and see what you can find. It’s a lot more thoughtful and adds a personal touch to your gift.
Product Name: Etsy – Calendars and Planners
Price:$12.00-40.00

Gift for the soda addict

Be a hero and splurge for your office – Keurig KOLD is a single-serve on-demand drink maker that dispenses actual Coke, Dr. Pepper and other brand name sodas. According to the website it’s “always perfectly chilled with no CO2 canisters”. Sold, Kold.
Product Name: Keurig KOLD
Price: $370.00

Gift for the color-coded and compulsive coworker

Help a pal curate their personal desk space with their favorite color. Poppin’ offers office supplies in a variety of solid colors that look good on their own or mixed and matched (and you can shop by color). Notebooks, trays, files, folders, pens, staplers, pencils – they can all match. Did you just walk onto the set of a Wes Anderson movie? Nope, just my office, pal!
Product Name: Poppin’
Price: $6.00-$100.00

Gift for the constantly cold

We know, we know – it’s cold in the office. But mittens don’t allow you to hit that sweet 90 WPM. These handwarmers connect to your USB port and will make you look like the cutest polar bear that ever used a computer, while also preventing office-induced hypothermia.
Product Name: Best is Yeti to Come USB Hand Warmers
Price: $40.00

Gift for the curious

Is there someone in your life who just plain sucks at stuff? Can’t change a tire? Doesn’t know how to tie a tie? This book has 40+ things that every young adult (or someone who refuses to grow up) should know in order to function in the world. Neato!
Product Name: “Grow The Fuck Up” by John Kyle
Price: $13.30

Gift for the romantic

UP by Pixar is quite possibly the world’s greatest love story. No, we’re not kidding, shut up. This is something that made everyone on the team say “aww, I need that!” so you need one, too. Enough said. Maybe buy several.
Product Name: UP terrarium kit
Price: $29.99

Gift for the monitor geek

The Sliden’Joy is everything you could want in a computer screen: more. It doubles or triples the size of your screen, slides in and out so it is portable and easy to put away in times of limited space, and connects through the USB port.
Product Name: Sliden’Joy
Price: $350.00-$1,000.00

Gift for the coffee-shop freelancer

A new way to introduce yourself to the cute coffee shop patron next to you sipping on a chai latte, this laptop cover doubles as a whiteboard. A/S/L?
Product Name: The Whiteboard by DrawAttention
Price: $11.00-43.00

Gift for the person whose apartment smells of rich mahogany

As one commenter said, “Gorgeous, unnecessary, expensive, and gorgeous.” Yep, that pretty much covers it. These all-walnut pieces are classic and tasteful. Each accessory is functionally designed and includes spaces and secret compartments for pens and stationery supplies.
Product Name: The Grovemade Desk Collection
Price: $30.00-130.00

Gifts for the risk-taker who wants to support cool ideas

Product Name: Shiftwear: Customize your kicks
Completely customizable smart sneakers that connect to an app and display an HD image (of your choice) which you can change at anytime, could include GIFs or videos and you can design yourself. This is the future of wearables. This Kickstarter is really starting to get off the ground and projects the shoes to be available for purchase Fall 2016.
Product Name: Shiftwear: Customize your kicks
Price: $150.00

Loopy promises to “stop the drop”. It’s a simple solution to everyone’s problem – dropping your phone. Loopy is a case with a simple loop attached to the back that you slip a finger through to prevent dropping your phone. Great gift for teenagers or your friend that just posted their 3rd status stating “Hey guys, got a new phone again! Text me your numbers!” Don’t let your friend be that person.
Product Name: Loopy
Price: $25.00